Normally, I resist the temptation to join the latest internet meme. But I’m not made of stone. If you can think of any, I’d love to see ‘em in the comments.

“Please sign my petition for the new Baron Zemo figure to be made with a fake fur collar.”

“I can’t believe the convention center doesn’t have a smoothie stand inside it!”

“These organic almonds have to soak for five hours. That’s just enough time to dust my display shelves.”

“Yes, I’ll chip in for a pizza delivery during the Twilight Zone marathon, but I want my own cheese-less pizza. Your cheese got on my half last year.”

“I’ll trade you this mint vinyl cape Jawa for your gently used Vitamix Turboblend 5000.”

“Let’s get lunch at the Whole Foods next to the Toys R Us.”

“I’m gonna be late for my Dr Who cosplay weekend if I can’t find any vegan jelly babies!”

“Don’t be mad that I just spent 7 hours on eBay, honey. I use GoodSearch so that every time I look up vintage Mego dolls, it donates money to the local farm animal sanctuary.”

“Do you think that Admiral Ackbar is allergic to shellfish?”

“I’m on the fence about whether or not to add Mr Spock to my collection; it’s well-known that Vulcans are vegetarians, but there’s no proof that they’re vegan.”